Adventures of Super Mom

Ok, so it has been way to long since I have written anything, life takes over sometimes. I started my new job at DIGITAS as a Senior Copywriter in Atlanta June 1. I guess I am officially now a Super Mom, working out of the home and also caring for my two girls, husband, house and one cat and of course doing my glass still at night and on the weekends. The fish died, so that's one less thing to have to worry about.

I worked from home for many years, and although it definitely has its benefits, there is something to be said for working outside the home in an office, where I can really focus and not be distracted by home issues, though I got pretty good at tuning that stuff out after 8 years. One thing about working from home is that even when I can tune out all the distractions, I feel guilty about not tending to them. But I am loving my job, as it allows me to really focus on one thing, which is writing, and that's what I really want to do. I was getting spread pretty thin at my previous job, trying to do all the things they put on my plate, but though I don't mind wearing many hats, it did sometimes start to feel like I was doing too many things. So, moving on.

The kids seem very happy in their new daycare also, and it is closer to home. Plus K started his new job this past week, so we are really rocking and rolling now. I seriously want to hire a maid service though, just someone to come weekly and do the stuff I hate, and don't have much time for, like dusting, vacuuming and cleaning the bathrooms. I'd rather spend my Saturdays with my kids and working on glass, not scrubbing the toilet.Ugh!

I am traveling to Stamford at the end of the month, my first trip up to the Stamford DIGITAS office, so that's cool. It will be the first time I have left my younger one overnight and only the second time I have left my older one, but I know my husband can handle it, just have to contend with my own Mommy guilt. What is that anyway?

Oh, here's a tip for those working Moms and/or Dads. Go to the grocery store during your lunch break to pick up milk or dinner things, then just stick them in the fridge at work and remember to take them home so you don't have to stop on the way home from work. Ok, that's it.There's a grocery near me where I can grab a few groceries, my lunch, a coffee and stuff for dinner all during my lunch break! Its multitasking time!

I feel like since I am writing more for my job, I need to be reading and writing more in general so that I keep my brain sharp and my words fresh. Ok, more later..

Embracing Change

Wow, I didn't realize it had been so long since I blogged. Life takes over sometimes. Lot's of change happening right now. I am leaving my current job with IBM after 8 years in a couple of days to take a new position as a Senior Copywriter with a cool digital marketing agency called Digitas. I am excited, as it is the kind of job I always wanted. I am still kind of in shock that I got it, so thanks again universe and various decision makers, I really appreciate the opportunity.

Also, the kids are changing schools and then Lily starts kindergarden in August. It is so crazy to me that she is getting so big. I hope Mirabel does well in the new daycare. Logistically, its just better for everyone and so we change.

Next thing I want to do is clear a space in the garage so I can get an Acetylene torch for soldering jewelry. I think its time. I think I am going to take the summer off from classes while I am getting my head around my new job which starts June 1st! Its going to be wierd going to an office again and being around people, as I have been working at home solo pretty much, talking to people "virtually" for 8 years almost with IBM! But maybe it is just time for me to get back out in the world.

And really the IBM job has been great especially through 2 pregnancies and 2 infant stages and I have learned so much there, and now its like everything I have learned has lead me to this awesome new job that let's me get back to what I really love which is writing, so I am excited! Plus its a huge boost to my career, the new gig, so I am looking forward to the new challenge. We shall see what happens!

Slumping is fun!

Here are a couple of pre-slumped pictures of some of my glass in my kiln. Fun!

Above is another picture , some stuff that is going into my friend's tea shop soon! More info to come. I have to do some domestics and run to the grocery store now.

For my grandmother

Its interesting to me when people come into my mind, people that have passed away from this world. Memory is an interesting thing. Lately I have been thinking a lot about my Grandmother, my Mom's Mom, who passed a long time ago when I was 13. I loved her dearly, and still do, and she often "comes" into my mind especially when I am in need of strength, because to me she was one of the strongest women I have ever known.

I often think of her and how hard but also comforting it must have been for her to go back to the synagogue after so many years of not going after my Grandfather died. She left the Jewish faith when she married my Grandfather, because he was catholic by faith, though a stout athiest in his beliefs, more of a scientist really. My grandfather was an anthropologist and he traveled around studying Eskimos and also groups of village folks in Pakistan, so my Grandmother often traveled with him in the field. Her family pretty much disowned her when she hooked up with my grandfather because of the religious differences.

Love is sometimes as strange and wondrous thing I guess and when the two met in NY, they fell in love and all the religious rules just didn't matter.

I think my Grandmother was hit harder then my Grandfather because like I said he was a man who only believed in facts and figures, she was a more stronger spiritual person and I think she always kept a relationship with some kind of higher power I am pretty sure, especially after her eldest got sick with polio back in the 50s, not sure how else she could have gotten through that. But she made the choice to leave the synagogue to be with him, and I don't know that she regretted it, we never really talked about it. All I know is that she has been on my mind lately, and I know that after my Grandfather passed, 7 years before her, she went back to the synagogue and I have this strange vision of her in my head sitting and sewing a tapestry or a curtain, in the synagogue, because when she went back, she did a lot of volunteer work there, and I think it was part of her spiritual healing maybe. All of this is of course my patchy memory and thoughts of her of which I am not even sure the source.
When she died though I was only 13, that's when I started looking for something I think. I was studying all these different faiths, especially the more eastern philosophies, like Hinduism and also Buddhism. I think I was trying to make sense of it all, I probably still am.Its interesting that in my searching I also became very lost, trying to fill some void with the "wrong" things. Yet I have to say, was it all "bad" or "wrong" if it lead me to the place I am today with my beautiful family?

I have yet to make a decision about religion, and I don't really feel I need to have one definitively. I know I believe in something greater than myself, and that there sometimes seems to be some order in the chaos of life. But other than that, I leave it alone. I am not a fan or organized religion, maybe because I know how badly it hurt my Grandmother to be exiled, or to exile herself, from her religion, just because she married the "wrong" religion. And to me that is probably not some greater God's rule, but more a human rule, but that's just my two cents. I will get off my soap box now.

I miss her though still, and I wish she could have known my children, but for all I know she does know my children, you know? What do I know of the afterlife if there is one? Not much, as I am still here, gratefully. That is all.

I love the beach

I hope one day I can just live at the beach I mean its hard to say exactly, if I am just relaxed because I am not working, or would I feel as relaxed anywhere? I don't know, I am pretty sure it is the ocean that seems to center and calm me down, and I just don't feel so stressed out and out of sorts like I sometimes do at home. There's something to be said for island life, I think its right up my alley. St Simon's is particularly cool, because of the arts community here, there are a ton of galleries, arts festivals, artists probably also. I just feel good here, its a cool town. The beach we often go to in North Carolina, on the Atlantic also, but its not as cultural of a little town, I don't know, St Simon's is a place I could see myself living, and the kids I think would love it also. Of course I miss my kiln, but if I had that here, I would be set, of course not sure how we would live exactly, it might be a good place for my working studio? Ha..we shall see. Ok, children need me.Gotta dash!

Where’s Abby Hoffman When You Need Him?

I was talking with someone close to me recently who requested that he remain anonymous, about how right now would be the perfect time for a revolution in the United States. Maybe I think that way because there seems to be one going on inside of me. But really I think it’s much bigger than that. I think that this country needs an over haul in so many ways. Well, corporate America especially because frankly it seems an evil place.

I never realized that so much before I got laid off in 2001. The lay off itself was really just the last straw, it wasn’t even the worst of it. I am not sure if I would have survived it much longer anyway, having the creativity sucked right out of me. .I did that for two and a half years, and it only got worse and worse. It got to the point where I didn’t even care about any of the words that I wrote because I knew they were merely going to get slashed and burned like so much forest. When I started working on the Internet, it was just the beginning of the hot phase. It was like a roller coaster ride, I thought I was doing pretty good, I hopped from job to job like some kind of crazed trainhopper, making more money every time.

That’s the thing about corporate America, the things that happen, the squashing of creativity, the lay-offs, the parking passes, none of it is given or taken away for personal reasons. It’s all about money. Money, money, money. As a writer working on the edge of a corporate job as an underpaid contractor, I struggle. I understand the need and craving for money, but what blows my mind is the lying and crazy schemed these big corporations create in order to make gobs and gobs of money. More money than anyone could possibly spend surely in a lifetime. So, at any rate, this is why I feel like we need a revolution because things are going to hell in a hand basket, and since it appears that everything is based on the stock market and the stock market is about as stable as my uncle’s boat and I might add here that the motor has fallen off of my uncle’s boat several times. Everyone freaks out when the stock market crashes and everyone gets scared and stops spending money, it leaves a vacuum. When there is a vacuum there is an imbalance of power, and that, my friends is the perfect time for a revolution.

I don’t know much about history because of the way it was taught in school bored me to tears. The only thing that was interesting to me was the part about revolutions. There have been so many in Russia, though that seems to have slowed down for now. The ones in France involved a lot of beheadings. I am not really talking about that kind of revolution, I am talking about the old fashioned kind from the sixties that were also before my time. Once in my life have I have been exposed to people at least claiming to start a revolution. It was a rough time in my life when I lived on the street for a time in California. At one point, I drifted up to Santa Cruz with some other people, where we set up a tent in a place called Davenport and I lived there at the campground for 6 weeks. During the day my friends and I would hang out on the mall in Santa Cruz. There were these weird people with shaved heads who stood out on the mall all day also, handing out flyers about revolution and how there was one starting underground, who was going to work its way up to the government. I wonder what ever happened to those people? Maybe they are on Facebook, who knows.

Uncomfortably numb

Lately, there has just been way too much coming at me, I feel like I am just dodging bullets every day, and so when I become overwhelmed, its like I shut down, which I think is what's happened. Trying to turn stuff around, but sometimes it seems like trying to turn around a gigantic ship, like the Titanic, which is headed for a course of disaster, and can't turn the big thing fast enough, you know? Maybe its a wasted effort. Of course before when I thought, well I will just let things go, let the chips fall where they may and just try to keep my side of the street clean, and that was kind of refreshing, like how much control do I really have over anything? Other than my own actions and how I choose to be in the world? People are going to do what they are going to do, and its frustrating, especially when other people's decisions directly effect my life and well being. But, like I said, I don't have any control really about what other people do or don't do, or how they act, only my own. So there you go, I know I am being vague, I don't feel like getting into the details right here. I feel like planting flowers. Sometimes just digging my hands into dirt helps me reground myself, which is probably sorely needed at some point. Ok, that's all I got right now..