Before I forget..but how could I forget..

Ok, I have to get this down before I start buzzing too fast with my corporate job work. This is ancient history 101 for me folks, but I just found out about it yesterday. Facebook is a strange and wonderous thing, as I was in this group on FB that I belong to that discusses old deadhead stuff, one thread is all about people who died, of which it seems there were a great many casualties in the late 80's early 90's (and before and beyond) I am sure. Anyway, I was touched to discover this guy, Pablo, who I acquired my old dog from, had passed away, years ago, about the same time I was coming back into mainstream life from a life on the road.

It just seemed strange, to think about. Pablo was a sweetheart with a bad stutter, and a heroine addiction.Apparently he killed himself back in the early 90's. When he was alive though, he had a big beautiful half german shepard and half wolf, her name was Sweet Thing. At the time I was out there, in Bolinas, she had a litter of 11 puppies, one of whom was the best dog in the whole world to me, my girl Sheba. Sheba initially was adopted by my old friend Joe. But he and his girlfriend were moving somewhere away from Bolinas and he couldn't take her, and she had all ready adopted me anyway. At the time I was staying in my van which was my home for a while. I was 18 and pretty much care free. That was before the darkness came completely. I parked my little green van, I called it Quinn the Eskimo, on a cliff overlooking the Pacific ocean. Sheba lived down the road with Joe and November in the basement of a house that belonged to this crazy rich guy, whose name I can't recall. Anyway, Sheba used to come and visit me every morning and after Joe left and said I could keep her, she stayed with me for 17 years. She died 5 years ago when I was pg with my eldest daughter. Anyway, all the strange and sad news got me to thinking.

How wierd is it that people can have such a profound impact on your life, and be gone? Or, isn't it strange that people can be in your life, and influencing your life even, and you not even be aware that they are there, and they might not be either?

I am not sure why all this stuff from the late 80's is rearing back up, maybe because that's when I first started struggling with hope, during all those crazy times, that started out so awesome and free, and turned to a life of deprivation and longing for a while. I had to go through quite a few rings of fire to get through that one. I don't really feel like getting into the details, but let's just say, it got pretty rough, but the good news is I survived, and it lead me to who I am today I suppose and I am stronger person. But I am still not sure why all that old stuff is coming up. I even had a wierd sense memory about a turkey sandwich from the little shop that was there in that crazy hippie town.

After most all my friends left, I used to scrounge up money for sandwiches by selling jewelry with this old guy who was teaching me how to wire wrap way back then.I would share the sandwich with my dog.Those were the best sandwiches ever, especially after not eating for a couple of days at a time.I guess that's why I still remember what they taste like.

I remember I wanted to make and sell jewelry even then, but I had no start up money. I tried to get money from my family, but I had burned too many bridges with my family for them to give me anything but a plane ticket which is all they would offer me anymore, so it goes. I guess they wanted me home, although when I came home, they changed there mind again for a while. I can't really blame them. It wasn't me so much as this person who had attached myself to me, along with the dog. But that's another story for a different time. I have to do some worker bee work now ,but I just felt compelled to touch on that story about Pablo and Sheba back in the day. If it weren't for Sheba, I might not have made it as far as I did, and that to me is kind of strange an poignant I guess like why did I make it and he, and so many others didn't? Who knows..I will probably never know..so be it. And I am finally back to the art and jewelry making, 20 years later, how strange. Thanks Pablo for the dog who saved my life over and over, and rip..