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I can't decide what to title this post, but I do need to write, so probably it will come to me later. Well now I can't because the baby is waking up..
Ok, its later, got the big kids, Lily and her best friend are settled with a snack and some juice and watching, Horton Hears A Who and now of course my mind is blank now..I really need to find some freelance work to make up for the dang pay cut, which I am still resentful about I might add..but I am hanging on and just using this as a way to motivate myself to try to get some stuff published. The blogging is mostly just for venting and also to practice writing, because it has been so long since I wrote with any regularity, other than my scraggly hand written journals..but it seems, I can hardly write with a pen anymore, like it seriously hurts my hand.
Ok, I kept getting interrupted today, since the kids are home from school still. They are now asleep in their beds, so I am back? Did you miss me? Is there anyone even out there?
So I am pretty much 100% that I don't want any more babies. I got a little freaked out because my "aunt flow", is a little late, and I actually got so freaked out earlier that I went hunting for an old pregnancy test which I found in the bathroom, and I peed on the stick, and it came out negative. Shew..bit sigh of relief. So Big Poppa, if you are reading this, just know I am not pg..just late and crampy..fyi..
Its like this ok..I love my kids, and if i was younger and richer and could just stay home with them and not work, I probably would have one or two more. But I am pushing 40, and we are broke with two kids and plus the last pregnancy was kind of hard on me, as was the first one. Well with my first, Lily, the pregnancy was pretty uneventful, and the birth was natural as I wanted it to be it was just right after she hell broke lose and I could have died, but I didn't. With Mirabel, it was mostly the high BP thing that threatened me the whole time, but luckily nothing ever came of it, thank goodness. So I figure, I don't know, if I were to have a third, I am afraid I might be pushing my luck, you know?
Also, in other news, just got word that my work, in addition to the paycut which I continue to bitch about, is also cutting paid holidays, we still accrue 10 days off a year, but are losing 6 paid holidays. Last year we lost our personal and sick days. itt really sucks big hairy balls too..ugh..gross analogy I know, but I am just so disgusted with them, I can't really say enough about that..even though I know its pointless, and probably ungracious to complain so damn much, but guess what, I don't care. So, I really need to put myself out there, and pull something better into my life for making money. This one seems to be very slowly and painfully taking stuff away..so I am getting less and less of what I need and what I deserve. The jerk store called! They want your job back!
Ok, its later, got the big kids, Lily and her best friend are settled with a snack and some juice and watching, Horton Hears A Who and now of course my mind is blank now..I really need to find some freelance work to make up for the dang pay cut, which I am still resentful about I might add..but I am hanging on and just using this as a way to motivate myself to try to get some stuff published. The blogging is mostly just for venting and also to practice writing, because it has been so long since I wrote with any regularity, other than my scraggly hand written journals..but it seems, I can hardly write with a pen anymore, like it seriously hurts my hand.
Ok, I kept getting interrupted today, since the kids are home from school still. They are now asleep in their beds, so I am back? Did you miss me? Is there anyone even out there?
So I am pretty much 100% that I don't want any more babies. I got a little freaked out because my "aunt flow", is a little late, and I actually got so freaked out earlier that I went hunting for an old pregnancy test which I found in the bathroom, and I peed on the stick, and it came out negative. Shew..bit sigh of relief. So Big Poppa, if you are reading this, just know I am not pg..just late and crampy..fyi..
Its like this ok..I love my kids, and if i was younger and richer and could just stay home with them and not work, I probably would have one or two more. But I am pushing 40, and we are broke with two kids and plus the last pregnancy was kind of hard on me, as was the first one. Well with my first, Lily, the pregnancy was pretty uneventful, and the birth was natural as I wanted it to be it was just right after she hell broke lose and I could have died, but I didn't. With Mirabel, it was mostly the high BP thing that threatened me the whole time, but luckily nothing ever came of it, thank goodness. So I figure, I don't know, if I were to have a third, I am afraid I might be pushing my luck, you know?
Also, in other news, just got word that my work, in addition to the paycut which I continue to bitch about, is also cutting paid holidays, we still accrue 10 days off a year, but are losing 6 paid holidays. Last year we lost our personal and sick days. itt really sucks big hairy balls too..ugh..gross analogy I know, but I am just so disgusted with them, I can't really say enough about that..even though I know its pointless, and probably ungracious to complain so damn much, but guess what, I don't care. So, I really need to put myself out there, and pull something better into my life for making money. This one seems to be very slowly and painfully taking stuff away..so I am getting less and less of what I need and what I deserve. The jerk store called! They want your job back!
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