Be here now!

For some reason I was just thinking about that old Ram Dass book Be Here Now, I have the most random thoughts sometimes, anyway, it is a good philosophy to live by I think. Its so easy to get caught up in the past or the future, or whatever else I would rather be doing than what I am doing..that sometimes I do just have to take a deep breath and slow it down. Being around kids, its kind of easy to do, because they are so in the moment, and I find if I try to do much of anything other than just be with them when I am with them, that I find myself getting terribly impatient, so instead I just have to slow it down, throw a pillow on the floor, you know? Get right down there with them..it makes me feel better usually.

Anyway, I feel out of sorts tonight, still unfocused and rather unmotivated..its like I am on the verge of being motivated..but not quite there. I have been thinking a lot lately though.Earlier tonight I was thinking about when I still had hope for my career, like when I was in college, and I had these big hopes and dreams about writing and publishing and painting and doing other art. Before I was actually out in the workforce for real, when I was just day dreaming about it..man was I naive. I don't know. I guess I am jaded after all these years of working for the man and getting crumbs. I am over it..do I sound bitter? I know I do, I hate it but I mean, its just been one thing after the other lately, and I am hanging on by a very thin thread, have been for a while.
I need to find my inspiration. Perhaps I need a muse or something..maybe I just need to get laid..haha..if I could only get the hubby to stop playing that game and play me instead..ha..that is all..wish me luck..